Tomorrow morning, I won’t be taking a tablet for my mental health.
That’s the first time I can say that in about a year.
True, on Wednesday I will be taking a tablet as my withdrawal from medication has to be handled very carefully but it’s another step along the road to recovery. It doesn’t mean I’m cured or even out of the woods. In actual fact it means that my therapist needs me less numb so that we can continue our conversations deep in to my feelings and emotions, something the medication is hampering right now. So for a little while it’s alternate days for meds, then 1 day in 3 – seeing how I get on.
Which is scary. I mean I want to be off the medication but I’m frightened of what it will allow back in to my mind. I know I’m in good hands but still there is a fear.
I was talking with a dear friend recently and they reminded me that we are currently in the Chinese year of the snake. A year for shedding skin and emerging in a stronger fresh covering. Regular readers will know that it has been a tough year for me. Shedding the skin of anonymity, facing up to the truth about my mental health and celebrating difference.
Appropriate then that tonight is the Mind Media Awards, I will be attending later to support my good friend Charlotte who is up for an award in digital media. If you haven’t seen her blog, I recommend you check it out. Edit – she won!We became friends after both attending a focus group for Mind, (the two bipolar people trying not to take over the discussion). The many friends I have made in Mental Health advocacy have been a true and strong support for me this year, allowed me to grow and blossom and most of all to discuss my health openly and frankly.
I’m not sure how my body and mind will react to the change in medication over the coming weeks but I remain confident that I’m on the right road, tough though it may be. If you see me sat at the (metaphorical) side of the road please do stop and ask how I’m doing. Your support has meant so much to me and continues to do so.